Soul mates- do they exist outside of fairytales?
The idea of a happy ever after is a wonderful one that is sadly often harder to accomplish than shown on the silver screen or in the pages of fairytales. The first flushes of romance often lead us to think that we’ve found the ‘one’, only for it to all come crashing down.
Have you ever met someone that you thought you had so much in common with and that was your twin flame, but before long and without much warning the relationship crumbled? Leaving with another failed relationship, broken heart and no alternative to become a soul mate skeptic.
It is easy to be skeptical of the concept of a “soul mate”—perhaps it is simply a romantic way of describing an intense physical attraction—personally don’t believe finding ours is purely up to fate. I believe we each have a hand in making it happen ourselves.
If you are holding out hope for the one then you are not alone, for a U.S. poll released earlier this year showed that 74 percent of men and 71 percent of women believe they are destined to find their soul mate.
When Mal Weeraratne, founder of Tantric Journey was asked by a young reporter ‘do soul mates exist and if so how can one find one?’ His response was simple: ‘’you don’t find them, they find you.”
In this video, Mal Weeraratne talks about how, when you meet your soul mate, you become connected through your chakras. This starts with the crown chakra – the spiritual chakra. The next stage is to see each other – just seeing and not touching; then follows communication – talking and verbally sharing and connecting at the throat chakra level.
On Mal Weeraratne’s training courses he teaches connection rituals that focus on the five gateways, or senses as you may know them. He explains that when a client comes to him he takes a long time talking to them and building up their trust and building up the communication between them, explaining that “if you talk long enough, you will open your heart chakra and will feel love for each other and only when you feel that love will you have a deeper connection in the heart chakra.”
Between lovers it is only when you have opened your heart chakras that you should start to become intimate. Intimacy starts in the sacral chakra. Mal Weeraratne explains that such intimacy translates through touching, kissing, and experiencing physical contact without having sex. He explains that “only when you feel comfortable in this intimacy should you make love.” He explains that there is no rush and that this process should not be rushed. Finally, Mal Weeraratne reveals that the last chakra is opened if all the other chakras are opened, and when this happens, all the elements of the relationship are good. This is when a couple decides to settle down and live happily ever after.
Deepak Chopra describes as a starting point in finding a soul mate when you ask yourself: ‘’What kind of person do I want to be?” and adds: “When you adopt the qualities of the person you want to be, a soul mate will show up to reflect those qualities. Because every relationship is a mirror and if you don’t like what you see in the mirror you need to change the reflection by changing yourself.” This is a very important lesson, because it is essential that you start being the person you want to be instead of trying to attract the person you want. When we are independent and strong and our lives are complete we are more magnetic to positive things and people.
How to recognise your soul mate:
I believe you should nurture yourself – and spend time getting to know yourself – before finding a soul mate. I also believe you’ll recognise when you meet your soul mate if one of the following happens:
The feeling is strong, almost painful.
The feelings will be uncontrollably strong and almost painful; you will feel deeply connected to someone in a short space of time.
There is a sense of inner knowing.
It is less of a physical love at first sight and more of a deep, inner knowing. There is a sense of closeness, comfort, and intimacy from the onset.
Mutual respect is shown.
There is an acceptance of one another. There is a deep love of the person as a whole and a deep mutual respect.
Home is wherever your soul mate is.
No matter how large small, humble or impressive your accommodation is it will be home if your soul mate is there.
You are best friends.
When you meet your soul mate, in my experience, you also meet your best friend. You “get” each other on a deeper level than you usually experience. You also share a common sense of humour and you are on the same page. This doesn’t mean you are not individuals just that you are in tune with each other.
You challenge each other.
Your ideal partner will not only admire you for all you have done but will also open your eyes to all you can do. There is no competition between the two of you. Instead, there is a unique combination of challenge, encouragement, and support – which becomes a catalyst for support.
You can be apart but prefer being together.
Soul mates are able to strike the right balance between the time they spend together and the time they spend apart. They trust each other and still feel close when they are doing separate things instead of being consumed with jealousy or anxiety. You will feel totally secure and at ease when together and apart.
You are comfortable being authentic.
One of the most satisfying things about being with a soul mate is that there is no pretence – you can relax and be authentic. You can see into the depths of each others souls and feel comfortable. You can lay yourself bare and drop your veil, truly being yourself and being fully accepted as yourself.
7 Steps to Encountering your Soul mate
- Accept the past.
- You are not your past story. Your past is exactly that, it is just a chapter in your life, it does not define you.
- Focus on what you want.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want. Be positively clear about what you want from your life and a relationship. REMEMBER – you attract what you focus on so be sure to fixate on the positive.
- Dream it.
- It might sound silly but indulge in some daydreaming because thinking about your goals and imagining you’ve achieved them really helps you to envision them which is one step closer to achieving them. If you want another job or a new partner, picture it in your mind. The universe will listen to you; you just have to have the courage to believe!
- Fall in love with yourself.
- The rule here is simple; you can’t expect someone to fall in love with you if you are not in love with yourself. Make a conscious decision to change the things you dislike about you and cherish those you do. The more you focus on what you love about yourself, the more self-love you will experience and the more others will fall in love with you.
- Say no to the ‘green-eyed’ monster.
- It is natural to feel jealous when we see someone happy with what we want. But jealousy is a negative emotion and it will actually keep love and positive things away from you. If you see happy people all around you in loving relationships, take this as a positive thing and see it as proof that it can and does happen and that it is just a matter of time until it happens to you.
- Keep faith and don’t give up.
- The number one factor that may hamper the Law of Attraction is that people give up before what they want has arrived. I always picture the Law of Attraction like ordering something online. Once you place the order, you have to be patient whilst waiting for its arrival. Be mindful of negativity, don’t give up, and be patient. Remember that “walking the spiritual path properly is a very subtle process.”
- Enjoy yourself and live the life you want.
- Don’t wait for love to find you to start living your life. You attract what you are, so be the best person you can. For example, if you desire a partner who is active and likes to visit new places, you better start traveling and getting out of the house.
Don’t wait for love to find you to start living your life. You attract what you are, so be the best person you can. For example, if you desire a partner who is active and likes to visit new places, you better start travelling and getting out of the house.
Click here to visit the Tantric Journey website and book one of my Talks in London or Online Masterclass if you would like to learn more.