At some point in a long term relationship or marriage there will come a point when there is a lack of physical intimacy and the good news is that hills and valleys are all part of the natural landscape of relationships. Indeed, highs and lows in the quality and levels of intimacy within a long term relationship are perfectly normal.
There are can be numerous reasons behind the lack of intimacy in a relationship and these can be physiological such as menopause, age, hormonal issues, general health and sexual dysfunction or it can be down to emotional issues including stress, anxiety or even negative body image. The reasons behind lack of physical intimacy can be as wide and varied as the individuals within them, but it is certain that physical intimacy is an important element in a relationship and that its absence can be the source of ill feeling, distress and arguments.
Whilst intimacy issues are not uncommon they can certainly be difficult to handle and many couples find them awkward to address. The reality of a relationship without intimacy can be difficult to accept, and whilst there are relationships that survive without sex or physical intimacy, it is certain that living in such a relationship will cause anxiety and frustration.
Physical intimacy in a relationship acts as cement for the relationship, keeping the closeness, interconnectedness and equilibrium between partners. A relationship with a lack of intimacy can have damaging effects for both men and women, for a man it can spell insecurities and a negative downward spiral in self confidence; whilst in a woman it can be just as damaging and can link the lack of intimacy with rejection, lack of affection and love.
As stated at the beginning of this blog the stresses and strains of everyday life as well as physical issues can mean that periods of sexual inactivity can occur and this perfectly normal, but for relationships which are sexually inactive for a long period of time it can spell a loss of connection and vibrancy.
If you feel that your relationship has got in a rut and you are looking to try and rekindle physical intimacy then it is certain that communication will be key. It is important not to play the blame game and instead use ‘I’ statements and try to remain calm and honest.
You may want to start initiating simple steps such as holding hands, initiating unpressured physical contact, sharing food and to exercise self care. You may want to consider an emotional detox as well as a detox of your relationship. Start taking care of yourself, work on your inner confidence and pursue your own passions and likes. No one likes negativity, clingy, controlling or jealous behaviour.
In order to attract love and intimacy you need to become someone that is able to love and like themselves. No one is attracted to negative and angry individuals. So, cultivate your own inner happiness and let go of negative emotions, petty resentments and grudges, detox yourself and your relationship shedding bitterness, anger, resentment and replace it with love, kindness, and affection.
Remember, no one is responsible for your happiness, you must take charge of that yourself. Learning to let go of negative emotions will allow you to embrace life fully and to choice positive and happy situations. This can only aid the intimacy in your life and attract positive situations.
Finally, you may want to introduce some Tantric rituals into your relationship to build love, trust and intimacy and if done with unconditional love and without expectation these can really aid the quality of communication and eventually that of physical intimacy.
Tantric Journey can assist you. Click here to find out more.
