Transforming your sex life through Tantra: are you making love or just having sex?
It seems that many people feel that the term ‘making love’ is just a euphemism for ‘having sex.’ Indeed it seems that many think that the expression ‘making love’ is just a nicer, almost sugar coated term for the physical act of sex, but this common misconception actually clouds the important distinction between the two activities.
You may argue that in order to ‘make love’ you need to perform the act of having sex, but having sex, even earth shaking good sex is not making love. They are distinct as a fish and chip supper or fine dining on lobster and champagne. Now you may enjoy both, but it would be unfortunate if you ordered champagne and lobster and got fish and chips wrapped in newspaper, so the real issue is are you getting what you really want and do you know if you are you making love or just having sex?
A Self Gratifying Exercise?
There is no essential purpose to sex beyond fulfilling your desire for contact with another person’s body, it’s very much a self-gratifying exercise. Once you have been fulfilled sexually and your desire satiated then the activity is over.
As distinct from mere sex, love-making is about union and the merging of two individuals. In authentic love-making as practiced in Tantra there is the mutual consciousness of unbounded unity without partition. There is resignation of separateness to the fluid inclusion of the other. It is an ecstatic resonance that defies any breach in Oneness. Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means ‘woven together and in Tantric love making the emphasis is upon the sacred connection between a couple without expectation.
In our modern over-scheduled and time poor lives, we rarely stop and intently focus on our partner. Practicing tantric love-making can enhance your relationship and your sexual pleasure, creating a deeper connection and a deep sense of fulfilment. Emphasising breath and connection creates a deep level of intimate contact and this alone can open your heart to feeling closer, more loving and intimate as well as having a deeply healing affect on relationships.
The slow pace of Tantric lovemaking will allow you to explore the sensual range of your bodies and minds. There is no goal in Tantric love-making, it is all about connection and taking time. Slowing things down and making love for an hour or more is like turning a fast-food into a fine dining experience, bonding you together and resulting in increased pleasure, sensation and profound satisfaction.
The continued practice of Tantric love-making will help you develop increased sexual ecstasy and connectedness far beyond that of a typical genital orgasm – instead you will be able to achieve a full body orgasm.
Indeed as you become more proficient at Tantric Love making you can develop the ability for prolonged orgasm. For both women and men, this is a variation on multiple orgasms; you remain at the peak of ecstatic pleasure without climaxing. You benefit from all the feelings of a typical orgasm, but it lasts for many minutes (or even hours), without a traditional orgasm. This ultimately leads to profound sexual and emotional merging between a couple and is unlike any other sort of love making.
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