“I believe we are finally on the right track. When my husband massaged me, his intention was to release any blocks present. He did a lot of internal massage which was uncomfortable, even painful in places, and he could feel a lot of the ridges in my yoni softening. I focused on working with my breath, which helped me through the discomfort. Afterwards, when we were making love, I had a huge emotional release which was centred in my heart chakra. It came with a burst of healing tears, and then I ejaculated twice. So, I think we did something correctly.
What is strange is that during our marriage, I have had some extraordinary sexually transcendent experiences. I had experienced an orgasm that you call the ‘God orgasm’ – where it did just happen, as you describe, and it came deep from my cervix and felt like every cell of my body was merging with the universe. My frustration is that it happens so rarely. It is almost worse knowing that I am capable of it and yet not being able to reach it. My dream is to have access to that all the time.
I have done a lot of yoga, meditation, and studied Tantra in the past. I am very familiar with the concept that the body stores all emotional traumas in our cells. Because I have a history of childhood sexual abuse, I have spent many years working to unlock and release that trauma.
It is quite strange to me that I suddenly had this sense of urgency to connect more deeply with my full sexual potential. I am happy to keep exploring with my husband as it seems to be helping. Lovemaking felt much better after the ejaculation, but I was not able to have an orgasm during intercourse. Your guidance has helped immensely and I know we are getting closer each day.