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What exactly is Tantric Sex?

Mention the word ‘Tantra’ and they will probably follow it up immediately with the word ‘sex’. Ask many people what Tantric sex is and they will probably struggle to lend a definition to the term, but will nonetheless probably say that a)  it’s meant to be amazing and b) it goes on for hours, and if pressed they will no doubt admit that they don’t actually have a clue what it involves. So, we’ve all heard the rumours about those steamy sex sessions which supposedly last for hours on end, but now its time to separate fact from fiction as we explore what Tantra really is and look at where it gets its steamy reputation from.

What is Tantric Sex?

Well, firstly lets get one thing straight; Tantra is not about sex, though it does harness sexual energy. Tantra is largely misunderstood in the West and celebrity tales of all night sex sessions that have been bantered around by the media have done nothing to strengthen its reputation or educate people about its true meaning.  Tantra originated in India over 5000 years and is a combination of spirituality and the harnessing of sexual energy in order to lead to enlightenment.

And whilst Tantra practices can bring you to experience mind-blowing orgasms, this isn’t actually what it’s all about, it’s just a happy side effect. “Tantra is the union of sexual energy, heart and spirit, and it is the unison of these elements in all of our life not just the bedroom,” explains tantra master, Mal Weeraratne. Mal explains that by bringing Tantra practices into our life, “It encourages us be truly conscious about who and how we are as a sexual being and to harness and embrace our sexual energy and of course improved sexual experience and liberation is a part of this as together, sex and orgasm are believed to equate to the highest level of spiritual awareness.”

So, how do I have Tantric Sex?

Tantra takes time to master and there is certainly no quick fix; it is recommended that you attend a Tantra Workshop or course. Tantric Journey offers many courses for both couples and individuals, but if you are eager to get started then here are three simple tips for beginners from tantric expert Mal Weeraratne:

Make eye contact

Yes, it might sound awkward, but gazing into each other’s eyes is one of the easiest ways of upping the sexual connection and one step closer to more meaningful and blissful sexual unions.

Start by sitting face-to-face in your partners lap with your eyes closed. Relax your breathing and start rocking towards each other with every inhalation and back on every exhalation. Once you’ve found your rhythm, begin clenching and unclenching your pelvic floor muscles to match your breathing.

Now open your eyes and stare into your partners’. At first this may feel very unnatural and difficult at first, but simply relax and if you stick with it, it’ll help you fall in love with each other all over again. Indeed Mal explains that “It can be the most intimate thing to connect with our eyes and truly see each other”.

The Kiss

As you’re rocking, try to coordinate your breathing so that you’re inhaling as your partner exhales. Now that you’re sharing each breath, kiss each other and visualise how you are sharing all of yourself with your partner.  When you kiss, enjoy just the sensation of the kiss, appreciating the touch and the taste.

Try a simple touch

As we said, tantric sex isn’t all about orgasm and sexual performance; it’s about exploring your sensuality through a slow and meaningful sexual energy build up. Touching and taking time is key, with a focus on making every touch and sensation count.

The secret to this is the intention behind it. When you’re busy and stressed, it’s hard to focus on the moment rather than an issue at work, chores, money worries, e-mails, family issues etc., but your partner will sense if you’re distracted and your touch will feel vacant and empty.

So it is important to relax and focus, letting all other worries and concerns wash away. “Place all of your attention on the pleasure in the here and now, you really need to be present in the moment” advises Mal. “If you find your mind wandering, gently bring your attention back to your pleasure and  concentrate on enjoying the moment and appreciating  the natural ebb and flow of arousal.”

In time with Tantra practices you will begin to connect to the sensations in your body in a different way, immersing yourself in the depths of your pleasure and harnessing your sexual energy to revitalise your whole body and life.

If you are interested in finding out more about Tantra, then please visit the website by clicking here.


Mal Weeraratne is a certified Tantra Educator founder of Tantric Journey – School of Healing and Awakening and author of Emotional Detox through bodywork. Mal is a British pioneer of emotional release through bodywork, with over 20 years experience, treating over 3000 clients from all walks of life from the UK, USA, Europe and Asia.

Mal has developed Tantric Journey a healing and awakening technique based upon the ancient principles of Tantra and Tao in conjunction with ground-breaking Western knowledge; to create a powerful and transformative form of therapy that is capable of releasing trauma at a cellular level within the body.

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